SAHDism

a collection of thoughts by a Stay At Home Dad

“The Year of Living Sequeiralously”

The Lucasian Method

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I practice the Lucasian method of child-rearing. This means that I quote Star Wars whenever possible since it takes me to a happier place when otherwise I would be going crazy. Here are some examples:

(at dinner time)
“Eat, or eat not. There is no whine.”

(tantrum time)
“I find your lack of coping skills disturbing.”

(poopie time)
“I felt a great disturbance in your shorts.”

(refusing to take a nap time)
“Mee-sah, gonna send your ass to bed-sah”

Other nerdy parents, feel free to add others; I’d love to add to my collection

It’s a MAN, baby !

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I was feeling good about getting regular exercise (keyword: was) until I took off my shirt to change into workout clothes and my youngest says to me, “I like your boobs”

Six Pack Abs

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I have developed a revolutionary new Ab Workout – guaranteed results! I’m calling it “go-to-the-community-pool-and-suck-in-your-gut-for-two-hours”

WARNING: this is not for the weak of spirit

Team Sequeira Gone Viral

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Team Sequeira has gone viral, and I don’t mean the “ooh-that’s-a-cool-video” viral, I mean the “mommy-why-does-my-poo-look-like-barf-and-my-barf-smell-like-poo” kind. I’d rather be watching funny cat videos right about now.

It started on Tuesday when Ben got home from school.  I could see he looked off.  That evening he started barfing.  Mick kept an eye on him that night and I slept in the kids’ room with the two healthy ones since it was Mick’s turn in the barrel.

The next morning, we took him into the doctor where he got an IV to combat the dehydration.  Twenty-four hours after it started, Ben switched to the diarrhea.  At least he had his appetite back.  He’s been in diapers since then (it’s now Saturday).

Harry had a couple of liquid burps starting on Thursday.  Most of it was because of Team Sequeira’s allergies that cause my gang to wake up with a lot of phlegm in their mouths/throat.  They’re not good at coughing it out so it upsets their tummies, hence the barf.  It looked like Harry might avoid the virus but, alas, he switched to the diarrhea on Friday.

Lil has been the strongest to resist but on Saturday afternoon, she barfed up as well.  At least at her age, she’s able to stay focused enough to run to the bathroom, whereas Ben and Harry just get a sad look on their face as they sit where they are and barf onto themselves, the couch, our bed, etc.  We’ve gone through probably fifteen loads of wash these past few days, mostly sanitary cycle.

On the bright side, this couldn’t have come at a better time.  I have recently been lamenting how fast time has flown.  Lil just turned six and we’re all set for Ben to start full day pre-K and Harry will start two half-days in the fall.  As much as I’m not a fan of being covered in barf and shit, these are my babies and I truly enjoy taking care of them.  I remember the last time Lil was sick and she and I camped out on the bathroom floor all night so she could wake up and barf into the toilet.  That was only a few months ago and I am already fond of those memories.   This week has dragged on, painfully so, but as I sit with them as they barf on me, I think about what a precious time this is.

Girlie Hairdos

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I’m actually not so bad when it comes to doing my daughter’s hair, especially when you consider the fact that I’m a forty-something bald male.  I’ve heard stories of girls crying  as tufts are being ripped out or pulled way too tight.  If anything, I can be accused of being way out of style.

People know it when I do my daughter’s hair because she looks straight out of the 80’s.  I suppose it’s because that’s the last time I had hair.

There’s a lot worse problems a girl could have.  At least at her current age (6), she’s not so worried about what fashion mags tell her so if she loves the wind blown look and wants to don her favorite feather earring, so be it.

Mommy-Daddy Time

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I was wondering… when you go to the Red Cross to donate blood and they ask you questions like, “Have you ever traded drugs for sex?” – does that include giving the kids Benadryl so that they don’t interrupt Mommy-Daddy time?

Keeping the Christmas Spirit Alive

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A lot of people say they wish the Christmas spirit could last the whole year through, but here at Team Sequeira, we’re actually doing something about it. We still haven’t taken down our Christmas Tree.

Who Wants Toys?

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I’ve been teaching my kids a new game called, “Who wants toys?” The rules are simple and exciting. We walk into a room together and if they see a toy they really want, all they have to do it pick it up and put in in a toy box or a shelf. If they never want to see it again, all they have to do is leave it where it is and Daddy (aka “The Sweeper”) will get rid of it. The look in Daddy’s eye is telling them that this is a game they don’t want to lose…

My Little Army Brats

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I think our kids should be in the military … General Nuisance, Major Pain, and Corporal Punishment…

I’m So Glad I Didn’t Offer Suggestions

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My wife comes up to me and says, “How ’bout a three-way?”
I say, “Sure!” and the next thing I know, I’m changing out the dimmer switch in our formal dining room…