a collection of thoughts by a Stay At Home Dad
by Stuart
One great thing about being the father of three small children is that I don’t feel bad about being the occasional curmudgeon…
(scene takes place at the theater concession stand after waiting 10 minutes for our tickets and another 10 to get to the front of the concession line):
Stu to unfortunate teen behind counter: Yes, I’ll have the eight-dollar popcorn with the buttery-flavored topping please.
by Stuart
(scene takes place in a crowded kitchen; children screaming in the background; Stu is cutting veggies, an open bottle of wine stands on the counter)
Wife: Honey, I’m home. Ooh, champagne tonight! What’s the occasion?
Stu: We’re out of liquor.
by Stuart
It’s been said that, “Daddy is a Little Girl’s first true love.”
To this, I must add,
“…and a Little Girl is her Daddy’s last.”
by Stuart
I practice the Lucasian method of child-rearing. This means that I quote Star Wars whenever possible since it takes me to a happier place when otherwise I would be going crazy. Here are some examples:
(at dinner time)
“Eat, or eat not. There is no whine.”
(tantrum time)
“I find your lack of coping skills disturbing.”
(poopie time)
“I felt a great disturbance in your shorts.”
(refusing to take a nap time)
“Mee-sah, gonna send your ass to bed-sah”
Other nerdy parents, feel free to add others; I’d love to add to my collection