Category Archives: SAHD-isms

My one-liners about parenting

Fulfilling Calories

Why is alcohol called “empty calories?” Sometimes is the most fulfilling part of my day.

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What I’ve Given Up

As time passes since the day I gave up my career to be a Stay-at-Home Dad, it becomes clearer that I’ve given up so little in exchange for becoming so much more

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Don’t Cry

“Don’t cry because the TV is off, smile that I even let you watch it in the first place.”

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One Great Reason

I love my kids – they give me reason to drink.

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TGIF

At our house, come 5pm every night is Friday night; unfortunately, come 6am every morning is Monday morning.

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Bedtime Rituals

Bedtime is all about ritual. For babies it’s milk and snuggling, for older kids a book and brushing teeth, for Dad, a martini and a good cry.

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My Wild Days Are Long Gone

In a mere twenty years, I went from that crazy MuthaFucka Stuart to Martha Fucking Stewart.

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Booty Call

My kids can ignore and mistreat me all day and yet, in the middle of the night, they come with those sad puppy dog eyes and crawl into my bed. It’s sort of a toddler booty call.

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Not What I Had In Mind

Mick, Lilliana, Bennett, and Harrison sleeping in our bed

My wife and I love trying new positions. Unfortunately, this means figuring out how to get comfortable after children crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night.

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Motivation

I get the best workouts when I bring my kids to the drop-in-day-care at the gym, primarily because if I stop working out, they give me my kids back

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