Hell hath no fury like the morning after spring break
Fulfilling Calories
Why is alcohol called “empty calories?” Sometimes is the most fulfilling part of my day.
What I’ve Given Up
As time passes since the day I gave up my career to be a Stay-at-Home Dad, it becomes clearer that I’ve given up so little in exchange for becoming so much more
Don’t Cry
Here’s a Daddy greeting card moment:
“Don’t cry because the TV is off, smile that I even let you watch it in the first place.”
One Great Reason
I love my kids – they give me reason to drink.
TGIF
At our house, come 5pm every night is Friday night; unfortunately, come 6am every morning is Monday morning.
Bedtime Rituals
I’ve found that a successful bedtime hinges upon rituals. Kids who know and understand what’s about to happen are much more at ease and co-operative.
For the babies, it’s a bottle of milk and some snuggling in the rocking chair. For the older kids, reading books and brushing teeth. For Daddy, it’s a martini and a good cry.
My Wild Days Are Long Gone
We took the kids berry picking and picked 25 pounds of berries. I took some of the berries to make raspberry syrup for homemade lemonade. It was amusing to think that in a mere twenty years, I went from that crazy Muthafucka Stuart to Martha fucking Stewart.
Booty Call
My kids can ignore and mistreat me all day and yet, in the middle of the night, they come with those sad puppy dog eyes and crawl into my bed. It’s sort of a toddler booty call.
Not What I Had In Mind
My wife and I love trying new positions in the bedroom. Unfortunately, for us this means figuring out how to get comfortable after one, two, or even three children crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night.