a collection of thoughts by a Stay At Home Dad
by Stuart
Pop Quiz:
You are getting ready to prepare dinner for your family. Your spouse and the kids are at gymnastics class and will then be coming home in about an hour and a half. What comes first?
Do you put on some Eric Clapton so you can listen to it while mixing a martini or do you mix a martini so you can sip it while getting the Eric Clapton cued up?
oh, and then make dinner.
by Stuart
I know hot dogs aren’t exactly “nature’s perfect food” but I do have to raise an eyebrow when I see the weird film on top of the water after I boil them.
by Stuart
So our toaster oven broke a few years ago and we never replaced it. Not for any particular reason, we just never got around to it. Neither did we own a regular pop-up toaster, as we had used the toaster oven for this purpose up until its untimely demise. This put us in the amusing situation of going for years without eating a slice of toast at home – only plain bread. For my wife and I, it was something we occasionally missed, usually at breakfast time, but nothing that caused us much concern.
Our kids, however, are young enough that they have never eaten a slice of toast, bagel, or English muffin in their lives. Fast forward to the present time and we now find ourselves on vacation in beautiful Sunriver, Oregon, renting a house that has, as many American households have, a toaster. Needless to say, on our first trip to the grocery store, we purchase some of which has been denied to us for so long – English muffins. For my kids, this magical treat was something they’d never had eaten before and they couldn’t get enough. It looks like a slice of bread and yet it pops up hot and crunchy – what magic is this! They were so excited that not only did they finish the entire pack of muffins, they didn’t even think to ask for dessert as they were so enthralled with the English muffins.
Being the Dad that I am, I’m currently trying to think of what other delectable treats I can whip up for them now. Maybe I can make some exciting pastries, the like of which they’ve never experienced before. I can just hear the excitement in their voices as they cry out, “Oh, Father, do makes us another one of your magical ‘popped tarts’ again !!”
by Stuart
As I was making grilled cheese sandwiches for the kids’ lunch today, I realized that after years of eating only cut-off crusts and end slices, I’ve forgotten what the delicious squishy insides of a loaf of bread actually tastes like.
by Stuart
My kids had recently been addicted to sugary cereals. I’m not sure why we started buying them in the first place. I think it’s because the box showed pictures of endangered species on them and apparently the sugar has less calories if it is taken in conjunction with environmental awareness. I decided that it was time to ween them off this and was mentally prepared for the push back from the kids (“push back” = “screaming and stomping”).
Just before Day Zero of the New World Order, I came up with a flash of brilliance that I thought was worth sharing:
As I was about to serve them the boring crispy rice cereal, I brought out our sugar bowl and excitedly sprinkled a teaspoon into each kid’s bowl in front of them. Can I tell you how excited the kids were at the fact that I, Daddy, the Sugar Nazi, actually sprinkled sugar on something for them. Never mind that their cereal had barely a fraction of the sugar they previously ingested, they were completed excited and never fussed. It was new and exciting and they were content (and I was relieved).
In this situation, I couldn’t have created a better outcome no matter how much I tried to rationalize the health benefits to my kids. Being an engineer, my default is to resort to logic but it was pure marketing and salesmanship that won the day today. Just another little parenting skill for me to continue developing, for the good of us all.
by Stuart
We took the kids berry picking and picked 25 pounds of berries. I took some of the berries to make raspberry syrup for homemade lemonade. It was amusing to think that in a mere twenty years, I went from that crazy Muthafucka Stuart to Martha fucking Stewart.
by Stuart
I didn’t realize what a horrifically hectic few days we’ve had, eating more fast food than I’d normally allow, until I finally got caught up and was able to make a healthy, delicious home cooked meal. I got a whole chicken, butterflied it open and started to grill it on the barbecue…(scene takes place by the barbecue grill)
Son: Dad, what’s for dinner?
Dad (proudly) : Chicken !
Son: and fries?
by Stuart
It was a sad day when I looked up the nutritional value of gin only to discover that I ingest the equivalent of a slice of cheesecake each time I find myself staring at that twist of lemon in the bottom of my glass (it had 100 calories per ounce-and-a-half). Of course, none could argue that the martini takes me to a far, far better place.
Since having children, I’ve stopped drinking soda. If I’m going to ingest empty calories, it damn well better be taking me to a happier place.
Before starting my business, an evening beverage was the norm. Usually I’d fix something as I was cooking dinner – rule number one for cooking is “always season the chef.” Since I’ve had my business and have something productive to engage other parts of my brain than the child-rearing part, I’ve tended to skip the drink because I’ve truly enjoyed tooling around solving computer issues after the kids go to sleep. It’s been a wonderful outlet for me.